New Use For An Attack
by Scarlet Rurouni
Summary: What happens when I've got a problem with a fanfic and Kenshin offers to help? Read and find out!
1. New Use For An Attack

A/N: Honestly, there's no point to this one. It's just something I wrote when I was particularly discouraged with the fanfic I was writing, and since Kenshin _does _live in my closet now….

Disclaimer: ::Scarlet Rurouni sits in a corner, hugging her knees as she rocks back and forth, eyes staring blankly ahead, chanting…:: "I **do** own Rurouni Kenshin, I **do** own Rurouni Kenshin…"

No matter how many times I say it, it just isn't true…

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New Use For An Attack

*note: Scarlet Rurouni's real name is Liz, so don't get confused now ^_~x

::Kenshin walks into Scarlet Rurouni's room, only to find her staring at that funny black thing she calls a laptop with an incredibly angry look on her face::

Kenshin: Ano…. Liz-dono?

SR: ::mutters and grumbles to herself before answering:: Yeah Kenshin? What do you need?

Kenshin: Sessha was just wondering why Liz-dono seems to be so angry at her lap-top today…. ::thinking:: _Liz-dono looks **very** scary right now, that she does…_

SR: It's nothing, Kenshin. I'm just having trouble with this fanfic.

Kenshin: Is there anything sessha can do to help?

SR: No- wait… ::grins demonically::

Kenshin: ::shaky voice:: uh… Liz-dono… perhaps sessha should just go do the laundry… ::kenshin starts to back away::

SR: Get back here rurouni! Now, ::smiles sweetly at him:: would you do me one teensy little favor?  
  
Kenshin: Sessha doesn't think-

SR: Or should I let Hiko tell Kaoru all about the time you-

Kenshin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Anything! Sessha will do anything Liz-dono wants, just keep shishou **far away** from Kaoru-dono!

SR: See that? ::points to something in the corner:: Destroy it for me, will you?

Kenshin: Hai.

::kenshin walks to the object, and quickly discovers it is a wooden block with the word WRITER'S stamped on it in large letter. He thinks for a minute before…::

HITEN MITSURUGU RYU AMAKAKERU RYU NO HIRAMEKI!!!!!!! 

::the wooden block promptly disintegrates due to the force of Kenshin's attack::

SR: Thanks Kenshin! ::bright smile::

Kenshin: You're welcome, Liz-dono. 

~owari~

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A/N: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Get it? Writer's block? Okay, so I thought it was funny… Anyway, since there's no plot, you don't have to review but if it made you smile, let me know! Also, please please _please_ tell me if I got Kenshin's attack wrong! ^_^x


	2. Epilogue: Oh The Power Of Tea

Disclaimer: If I owned Rurouni Kenshin all would be right with the world…. 

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New Use For An Attack

Epilogue: Oh The Power Of Tea…

**note: Scarlet Rurouni is just going to be called Liz for the rest of this fic as it **is** my real name. That and it takes less time to type! ^_^x;;

Liz is lying in bed, propped up on many, many pillows. She is entirely covered by several blankets, except for her face, which is deathly pale, and she has an ice pack on her forehead. Her breath is barely detectable, making no sound whatsoever and coming out in tiny, short little puffs as she tries to breathe through a stuffed up nose. And this, is exactly how Kenshin finds her, after she has settled down for a nice, long, nap. 

::Kenshin walks into the bedroom, having just finished making lunch for the young authoress::

Kenshin: Liz-dono, lunch is ready, that it is! ::big rurouni grin::

Liz: ………

Kenshin: Liz-dono? ::walks a little closer to the sickbed, just beginning to notice that she's not moving::

Kenshin: Liz-dono? ::beginning to get a little frantic, Kenshin places his head over Liz's heart, straining to hear a heartbeat. Unfortunately, it never occurred to him to peel back the many blankets covering her form before doing this, so the poor rurouni hears nothing::

Kenshin: **GASP!** Liz-dono… you can't be… sessha doesn't want you to… ::getting exceedingly desperate:: LIZ-DONO! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::flings himself onto Liz's "corpse", sobbing as he buries his face in his arms::

Ummmmmm, not that I don't appreciate the sentiment Kenshin, but… do you think you could keep it down? I've kind of got a headache and I need to rest.

::Kenshin stops crying and looks at Scarlet Rurouni, mouth agape. One would think he'd be rendered speechless but…::

Kenshin: LIZ-DONO!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!! ::somehow manages to get past the many blankets and happily hugs Liz with crushing strength::

Liz: ….Kenshin…can't…breathe….onegai….need….air…!

Kenshin: Oh! ::releases her:: Gomen nasai, Liz-dono! Sessha is just happy you are alive, that I am! ::smiling like an idiot, but in that cute rurouni way of his::

Liz: …. Um. Kenshin?

Kenshin: Hai, Liz-dono?

Liz: What made you think I was dead?

Kenshin: Sessha came in to tell you that lunch is ready, but you did not move, so sessha listened for your heartbeat and… ::slowly, a look of horrific realization comes over Kenshin's face:: YOU ARE NOT LIZ-DONO!!

Liz: ….. huh?

Kenshin: You have NO heartbeat! ::instantly, the loving rurouni is gone, amber eyes now stare coldly at the very confused SR:: I will avenge Liz's death by killing the foul demon that now inhabits her body! ::unsheathes his sakabatou:: Prepare to die!

Liz: WAIT ONE ORO-LOVING MINUTE!!!! ::battousai pauses, poised to stab the reversed sword edge into her heart:: Did it ever occur to you that it might be a bit difficult to hear a person's heartbeat when they're underneath a pile of blankets?!

Kenshin: …….. Aa. Good point. ::Amber eyes are replaced by amethyst::

Liz: **sigh** Now I really have a headache…..

Kenshin: Sessha is very sorry for trying to kill you Liz-dono.

Liz: That's okay Kenshin, you wouldn't have been able to kill me anyway.

Kenshin: Oro? But… you have no way to defend yourself.

Liz: Baka rurouni. Of course I have a way to protect myself! Even if I am sick!

Kenshin: ::stares at Liz, wondering what defense an unarmed, weakened fanfic author could possibly have against the great hitokiri battousai:: What would you have done, Liz-dono?

Liz: ::Gives the rurouni her best "isn't it obvious?" look:: Ended the fanfic.

~owari~

A/N: Okay, it's about one in the morning, I've got a nasty cold, and suddenly I thought, I wonder what Kenshin would do if he saw me like this. Naturally, I wrote this little "epilogue" as a result, of course, the fact that I had about ten gallons of herbal sweetened with LOTS of sugar wouldn't have anything to do with it. ^_~x Yet again, pointless and random humor. A welcome break from the sappy bit of fluff I am currently trying to write. Anyway, make this sick person feel happy and tell me what you thought! ^_^x 


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